Q: Which state uses the most laundry detergent? A: Washington. 親父ギャグ的には、「ワッシュイントン」とか発音するんでしょうか？

Q: Where do seahorses sleep at night? A: In barnacles! horse（馬）が寝るのはbarn（納屋）、seahorse（たつのおとしご）が寝るのはbarnacle（ふじつぼ）。

My son's fourth birthday was today, but when he woke up in the morning, I didn't recognize him at first. I'd never seen him be four....

I told my friend I'd built a model of the Himalayas, she asked if it was to scale, and I said "No, just to look at,"...

I was on a work trip last month and stayed at a hotel. The concierge made me blush when he was checking me out. 「checking me...

If sweet dream are made of cheese, who am I to diss a brie? Eurythmics（ユーリズミクス）の歌のパロディーです。 元の歌詞は「Sweet dreams are made of...

Q: How do you make the number one disappear? A: Just add a G and it's gone. ほんとだ！oneにｇ付けたらgoneだ！

A firefighter told me my smoke detectors were too old, but they work just fine. I think he was being alarmist....

I hung up a copy of the U.S. Constitution on my wall. I call it the decoration of independence. declaration of...

I lost a fight in court to build a house on my land. I'm not dwelling on it. dwelling（誰かが暮らしている住宅）とdwell on（くよくよ考える）の言葉遊び

Q: Why do bees stay in their beehives all winter? A: Swarm. swarm（群がる）とwarm（暖かい）をかけてるのだと思いますが、becauseを短く言う「cos」、「coz」、「cus」、「cuz」をうんと短く言う...

My dog, Minton, ate my racquet and shuttlecock this morning. Bad Minton! ラケットとシャトルを食べちゃうなんて悪い子だ！ミントン！

They're designing a mind-controlled air freshener. It makes scents when you think about it. make sense（納得がいく）とmake scent（香りを作る）の言葉遊び。

Insomnia is terrible. But on the bright side, only five more sleeps until Christmas. 不眠症でも5日くらいなら大丈夫？！

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight. hindsight（後になっての判断）と言う言葉に有名なケチャップメーカーの名前を掛けてます。

"Dad, why did you buy a boat?" "There was a sail." セール違いです。sale（特売）かsail（帆）か、、、。

You know what's neat? Ordering a whiskey with no ice. 「何がクールかわかる？氷なしでウイスキーを注文することさ。」 「neat」は英語で「素晴らしい」とか「クール」という意味がある一方で、ウイスキーを「ストレート（氷なし...

Why was the broom late for the meeting? It overswept. 「なぜほうきは会議に遅れたの？寝過ごした（overslept）から。」sweepは掃くという意味。過去形sweptの発音がsleptと似ています。そもそも箒が会議に来...

I tried to come up with a joke about measuring distance. This was as close as I could get. 「距離を測るジョークを考えようとしたけど、これが一番近かった。」「as close as I...

I started a dating app for chickens. It's not my main gig though, it just makes hens meet. chickenは鶏以外に、弱虫とか臆病者という意味があります。makes hens...