As I get older, I keep remembering all the people I lost along the way. I was a terrible tour guide. The people I lost along the...

I'm trying to convince my dad to get a new hearing aid. He just won't listen. 聞かないっていうより、聞こえないのかも。 場合によってはブラックジョークになっちゃう？！

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. Don't tell me that's a coincidence. 陰謀論とはすべての事が何者かの陰謀によって計画されて起こった事だという考え（Everything happens...

When my dad asked me what day it is, I told him March 1st, but then he just stomped around the room and asked again....

I started a roofing business, but I keep losing money on projects. I think it's because I keep building them on the house. 屋根ふき会社を始めたのにon...

Q : Why do the Norwegians put bar codes on their battleships? A : So they can Scandinavian. バーコードは確かにスキャンしますが、それにかけて「スキャンジナビアン（北欧の）」はちょっと...

Q : What kind of key do you need to open a banana? A : A monkey! キーはキーでもモンキーです。

I finally learned how the computer mouse works. Everything clicks now！ コンピューターのマウスのクリック音とclickの別の意味（ピンとくる、しっくりくる、わかる等）をかけた言葉遊びです。

"Dad, how heavy is this lamp?" " I don't know, usually lamps are pretty light." lightの2つの意味（明かり、軽い）がジョークです。

Q : What prize do you give someone who hasn't moved in over a year? A : A trophy. これは親父ギャグにしては少しひねっていますかね？movedの意味が2つあるので、...

My sister used to hide money in the bushes in our yard. She went on to become a successful hedge fund manager....

Did you hear about the truck driver who got a flat tire? It was a wheelie bad time. wheel（車輪）とreally（本当に）が似た音。親父ギャグっぽいでしょ？

Q: What is it called when you’re afraid of a giant that lives up a beanstalk? A : Feefiphobia. フィーファイフォーファンとかヒーハイホーハンとか訳される、ジャックと豆の木の巨人の言...

My partner asked me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We had a few drinks; pretty cool guy, says he works as a web developer....

Never share a secret with a clock. Time will tell. Time will tell.は「時が経てばわかる」という諺のようなものですが、直訳すれば「時間は言う」なので、時計に秘密は守れないかも～？！

You never see penguins in Great Britain because they’re afraid of Wales. Walesはグレートブリテン島南西部の半島状の地方で、発音がクジラに似ています。hが入るか入らないかで音も意味も変わっちゃいますね。

Q : What kind of bee can't make up it's mind? A : A may-bee! mayは蜂の名前か、五月の意味か、maybeとかけた言葉遊び。

"Dad are we pyromaniacs？" "Yes, we arson." pyromaniacs（放火魔） arson（放火）Yes, we are son.の言葉遊びですが、ちょっと笑えないような、、、。

I'm so proud of my teenager. I gave him a puzzle that said "2-3 years" on it, and he completed it in two minutes! それ、かかる年数じゃなくて、対象年齢でしょう。

I work on a submarine, but I think I’m going to quit. I'm under a lot of pressure. 潜水艦勤務は、物理的にも精神的にも圧力がかかるでしょう。