They used to charge you a quarter to fill up your car tires with air. Now they charge $1.50. That's what I call inflation....

Q: What do you call one hundred baby sheep rolling down a hill? A: A lambslide. landslide（地すべり）と100匹のlamb slide（子羊すべり？！）の言葉遊び。

Q: What superpower do you get when you become a parent? A: Supervision. super vision（特別な視力）じゃなくて、supervision（監視、監督）。

I started to count my tools at 10 p.m. But I stopped after the seventh because it was tool eight. tool eightがtoo lateに聞こえますよね。

My local bar "The Phoenix" burned down last month. It's reopening today. 不死鳥なので、火事で焼けたって蘇るんです。

Q : What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper? A : A fizzician. "physician"（医師）と"fizz"（炭酸）をかけた言葉遊び。Dr. Pepperなんてずっと飲んでないなあ。

When I was a kid, my neighbors hired me to clean up the leaves in their yard. I was really raking it in. "raking...

As I handed my dad his fiftieth birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "You know, one would have been enough."...

A pair of jumper cables went out for a drink. The bartender said, "You can stay, but don't start anything!" バーテンダーのセリフ（don't star...

Q: Which is faster, hot or cold? A: Hot, because you can catch a cold. 「catch a cold（風邪をひく）」の「catch」を「速くつかまえる」と解釈することで、熱いものが冷たいものよりも速いという...

I once skipped school to go bungee jumping with my friends. We got suspended. get suspendedは停学になるってこと。バンジージャンプは吊るされるのでsuspend（ぶらさがる、つるす）。...

What starts with W and ends with T. No, really, it does. 「What」という単語自体が「W」で始まり「T」で終わる単語です。そうきたか！って感じです。

Q: What does Jeff Bezos do before bed? A: He puts his pajamazon. ジェフベゾスはアマゾンの創業者。パジャマにアマゾンをくっつけてかなり苦しい親父ギャグ。

Florida is an easy place to move to because it has a lot of keys. フロリダキーズ（Florida Keys）は、アメリカ合衆国フロリダ州にある細長い列島。そのkeysと鍵のkeyをかけてる言葉遊びです。引っ越...

My candle has insomnia. Guess there's no rest for the wicked. 「No rest for the wicked（悪人に休息なし）」ということわざは、悪いことをしている人は常に忙しいか苦労しているという意味。...

My wife threatened to divorce me if I gave our daughter a silly name. So I called her Bluff. 妻が「娘に変な名前を付けたら離婚する」と脅したことを受けて、夫はその脅しを真に受けないこ...

”Dad, how many feet are in a yard？” ”It’s depends on how many people are standing in it." 子供は「フィートとヤードの長さの関係」を尋ねていますが、お父さんはわざと質問を誤解して、庭（y...

I asked an electrician to fix an electrical issue at my house. He refused. 「refused（断った）」と「re-fused（再びヒューズを取り付けた）」の音が似ています。結局直ったんでしょうかね？

Q: Do you know what a baby computer calls its father? A: Data. 英語で「data」と「daddy」は音が似ており、そこから「baby computer（赤ちゃんコンピュータ）」が「data」と呼ぶという親父ギャグです。

I wanted to join the jazz band at my school growing up, but my mom said we couldn't afford a trumpet. Luckily, my dad found a frugel...