Just crashed my new Kia. Now I have Nokia. Kiaは韓国の自動車メーカー、Nokiaはフィンランドの携帯電話会社。KiaがクラッシュしてNo Kiaって、、、ちょっと違うでしょ。

Q: Who makes a million dollars a day? A: Someone who works in a mint. ここでのmint は硬貨や紙幣を造幣する施設、機関を意味します。植物のミントじゃないですよ。

Q: What do you call a lying dictionary? A: A fictionary. そんな辞書があっても誰も買わないでしょう。

I told my son I'd go a whole day without making any furniture puns. Sofa, so good. So far so good.（今の所順調）だったのに、sofaって言っちゃったよ。

Q: What do you call a hen looking at a bowl of lettuce？ A: Chicken sees a salad. チキンシーザーサラダと「チキンがサラダを見ている」の発音が似ているという言葉遊びです。親父ギャグの王道って感じですね。

It annoys me when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word. 年齢なんてただの数字だよ！ってよく聞きますが、確かに、ageは数字じゃなくて単語ですよね！？

Saw a squirrel that couldn't make up his mind. He was on the fence all day. 「 on the fence 」は、フェンスの上に座っている状態=決断ができずどっちつかずになっている様子。「リスがどっち...

I can't believe I was robbed and they only stole my limbo stick. I mean, how low can you go? このジョークでは「how low can you...

Q: How did Swedish people get so good at building furniture? A: No IKEA! No idea.って言うつもりが、つい社名を出してしまいましたね。

"Dad, why do scuba divers roll backward off boats?" "Because if they rolled forward, they'd still be in the boat."...

I made a graph of my past relationships. It had an ex-axis and a why-axis. グラフのX軸Y軸の事を、ex-（前の）why-（なんで）と言い換えてるのが笑えます。過去の対人関係についてグラフを作るなんて...

Q: Which state uses the most laundry detergent? A: Washington. 親父ギャグ的には、「ワッシュイントン」とか発音するんでしょうか？

Q: Where do seahorses sleep at night? A: In barnacles! horse（馬）が寝るのはbarn（納屋）、seahorse（たつのおとしご）が寝るのはbarnacle（ふじつぼ）。

My son's fourth birthday was today, but when he woke up in the morning, I didn't recognize him at first. I'd never seen him be four....

I told my friend I'd built a model of the Himalayas, she asked if it was to scale, and I said "No, just to look at,"...

I was on a work trip last month and stayed at a hotel. The concierge made me blush when he was checking me out. 「checking me...

If sweet dream are made of cheese, who am I to diss a brie? Eurythmics（ユーリズミクス）の歌のパロディーです。 元の歌詞は「Sweet dreams are made of...

Q: How do you make the number one disappear? A: Just add a G and it's gone. ほんとだ！oneにｇ付けたらgoneだ！

A firefighter told me my smoke detectors were too old, but they work just fine. I think he was being alarmist....

I hung up a copy of the U.S. Constitution on my wall. I call it the decoration of independence. declaration of...