"Dad, I need some new school supplies like pencils, markers, and scissors." "Well, I can't get you scissors. I don't want you cutting...

My wife came home from the store tonight with deer food. She was trying to save a few bucks. buckは米ドルの俗語です。 昔、とくに先住民と開拓者の人々の間での物品交換の決済手段の...

I think I’m going to be fired from my job removing graffiti. The writing is on the wall. 「The writing is on the...

I was really bored, so I made a belt out of all my watches. It was a waist of time. 腕時計からベルトを作るっていうのがそもそもナンセンスですが、それが時間の無駄（waste of...

"I heard there was a kidnapping at school today." "Yeah, but he woke up!" kidnapping（誘拐） kid napping（子供の昼寝）一単語か、二単語かで意味が全然変わります。

You should never invite John Milton to game nights, because every time he comes it's another pair of dice lost....

Q: What did the squash say to its friend in the morning? A: "I'm feeling ground today!" squash（かぼちゃのような野菜）はマッシュして食べる事があり、feeling...

I tried to buy a taxidermy bird, but the store wanted too much for it. They said it wouldn't go cheep. 店員が「it wouldn’t go...

"Dad, why do they call it USB?" "Because USA was already taken," Aは取られちゃってるからBって、じゃあ次はUSC?

Q: What do storm clouds wear under their shorts? A: Thunderpants! 嵐の雲なので、underpants（下着）ではなくthunderpants（雷パンツ？！）。

Q: What did the janitor say when he popped out of the closet? A: "Supplies" 用務員さんがクローゼットから飛び出てくるというシチュエーションがまずないですが、surprise（びっくり）と...

I've heard Teslas don't have that great "new car" smell. It's just Elon Musk. 新車の臭いじゃなくて、musk（じゃこうの香り）。社長の名前が香りにまでなるか？！

I saw someone crying during a physics exam. The teacher just kept asking him, "What's the matter?" What's the matter？って普通「どうしたの？」と訳すと思います...

Campers are known to be quite passionate, but I often find them in tents. キャンプする人たちだけに、in tense（緊張した、張り詰めた）じゃなくて、in tents（テントの中）。

Did you hear about the detective who dropped his phone? He cracked the case. crack the case（事件を解決する）じゃなくて、本当にケースにひびが入っちゃったんですかね？

Q: What do you call a purple gorilla? A: A grape ape. apeは類人猿。でも紫色のゴリラって、、、

A bossy man goes into a bar. He orders everyone a round. 偉そうな男がバーに来て、みんなにおごる（order everyone a round）」と同時に、「みんなに指図する（order everyone...

My friend got fired from his job making calendars just because he took a couple days off. took a couple days offが、休暇を取ったのか、カレンダーから抜いちゃったの...

Q: What did the spice merchant say when he was late for his date? A: "Sorry, I lost track of thyme!" スパイスを扱っているだけに、TimeじゃなくてThyme（ハーブのタイム）。

I’m going out to see a new band of young professionals. They're called LinkedIn Park. Linkin Parkというアメリカのロックバンドを知らないと、全然笑えないし、、、親父ギャグもアップ...